Hi ladies,
Savanna is 8 months old now... and we've quasi been trying to teach her patience when it comes to waiting to be nursed. We don't know what to do at this point.
Here's the situation and how we've been dealing with it.
In the mornings it's most prevalent (but pretty much every time it's time to nurse) Savanna will start to whine, kick, and even cry just as I lay her down on my lap. I've not yet lifted my shirt yet... so we tell her in a stern voice, "no, you need to be patient". The crying gets worse... then come the crocodile tears. Meanwhile I don't life my shirt and I just wait and keep telling her "no, Savanna" and "you need to be patient". Sometimes I've tried tapping her lips and telling her no that way... and sometimes I've echoed her whine and said that's a no... sort of like showing her the bad behavior. In all cases she doesn't really stop. Sometimes there's a brief (and I mean brief) lull and I immediately praise her with a "that's it! Good job!" And then I reach for my shirt hem and we're back to square one all over again. I've also just held her and consoled her while she's crying really hard, but she really does seem to be throwing a tantrum by pushing me away, throwing her head back, kicking her legs.
So far I think the longest I've let this go on for 15 mins, then I give in, but does anyone have any thoughts on this situation. I'm afraid that I'm going to teach her that she can "win" if I give in...but she has to eat, right?! At 8 months, I feel like she should have gotten this by now...is she just a stubborn little bugger :) What would you do if you were me?
-Charisa
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8 comments:
She sure is strong willed! I have no clue but I am interested in what all the other ladies say. My LO is only 2 months so we are not quite there yet but he does flip out when it is time to eat so I wonder if it will get to this point.
I think your best be is to try to teach her patience at other times of the day. Even with my 4 year old, if he's tired and hungry, there is absolutely no learning going on. They are just physically not in a position to listen much less heed your instruction. Try to recreate the scenario in some other way. Offer her a snack or a toy that she really likes but make her wait for it. Do that several times in the day. She will get the hang of waiting patiently and it will carry over to nursing. And if she is so hungry that she can't wait any longer, maybe feed her 10-15 minutes early. Maybe she's going through a growth spurt? If she really is that hungry, withholding food from her in an effort to teach her will only make her more upset. So go ahead and feed her despite the little tantrum and work on patience at other times of the day. You can even say something like, "I don't like your behavior right now, but I know you are hungry so I will feed you. We will work on your patience later." Obviously she is too young to understand these words, but it will give you conviction and if you say them with the right tone of voice, you are saying that she is not the boss but that you are. As boss, you have the right to choose to feed her even despite the tantrum. Hope this helps!
Maureen
oops, I meant best bet.
It sounds like she is really hungry. If she isn't like that for everything she is waiting for, I wouldn't worry about it. I would feed her, especially in the morning.
One think Anne-Marie Ezzo told me she suggests to moms is to wait 15 minutes after they wake to feed them (after 6 weeks of age) so they don't think they have to eat immediately upon waking. But if she is really hungry, I would feed her. If you want her to wait, I would not have her do it in the nursing place. I would play with toys with her and try to distract her, not lay her on the nursing pillow with food in sight and tell her to be patient :).
Thanks ladies!
She's really patient to wait to eat when she wakes up. If for some reason I can't feed her as soon as she wakes up, she's happy to wait 15 even 20 mins to eat. But I rarely make her wait. That's only in a situation where we're visiting someone... I always want to feed her as soon as possible. She only does this when I lay her down to nurse. Or sometimes at the high chair, when I start to walk up to her with the bowl of food. But this one is hardly anything at all...I only bring it up because it's similar behavior but at a fraction of intensity.
I'm more prone to just quickly feed her so that she's satisfied quickly...
If it is just behaviour isolated to the time just before nursing, would you let it go at this age? And just verbally tell her that we will work on that later? I'm wondering if this is just one of "those things" that she'll grow out of when she's older.
What do you think about feeding her solids first and then nurse..do you think that will help?
I think if this were my daughter, I would say something like, "Kaitlyn, I know you are hungry. I am coming with your food. I need you to be patient." I would say it firmly, but I don't think this is something you need to stress about at this age. She is likely crying out of hunger, and trying to teach a hungry baby patience will likely only backfire into you giving in and her learning that is what you do.
I don't think solids first would help. If she is hungry, she needs th fast hunger quencher of milk.
Excellent. Thanks Val and ladies... I think my husband and I would agree with that too. I so appreciate bouncing this off of you all.
My 8 month old son is just like this and always has been, whether I am nursing him or feeding him solids. He even acts like this when I know he isn't extremely hungry. I just tell him that mommy is getting his food ready and that he needs to be patient. I even give him some little puffs to practice eating while I am getting his solid food ready. I guess I do it this way so he doesn't have any bad feelings connected to eating. I figure that with teaching him patience in other areas and continuing my verbal comments about the need for him to be patient with eating, he'll eventually get better with being patient with food as he gets older.
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